I traveled to Florida to visit my mom and dad the other day.  To get there, I flew from Chicago and as I boarded the plane I did what most ofus do when looking for our seats..  I quickly scanned the plane for my seat and begged that no one that seemed strange, difficult or worse of all, would want to actually talk to me would be sitting in my row.  As I spotted my row, 5 d, e, and f, I saw to my horror an elderly man and women sitting in the aisle and the middle seat.  My seat of course was the window.  Not only would I need to ask these people to get up, but the elderly man sitting on the aisle had two canes with him and looked about as disheveled as one could be.  What was I going to do?  Would I need to actually help him get up?  This was a nightmare... .as I got up to my row and said as politely as I could that my seat was over by the window, a younger man sitting on the aisle of row 5 a and b got up to help the man who turned out to be his father in-law.  As Arthur, (that was his name) got up, he teetered and tottered until finally his son in-law put an arm around Arthur's middle to stable him.  I asked the younger guy if it would make more sense for him to sit with his father and mother in-law in my seat as I would gladly change with him. 

 

"No" he said, "well, maybe if you need to get up, I would not want you to be stuck in there, but if my father in law needs to use the restroom, then my being on the aisle with him makes the most sense."

 

I saw how difficult this was for him.  Although his mother in-law was just fine, Arthur obviously needed a lot of help.  

 

"Don't worry" I told him, "I never have to get up.  I can go by the window and I will be just fine."  

 

By this time, he had sat Arthur down in his seat since it had become very difficult to keep him standing.  So there Arthur sat for the plane ride and his son in-law (whose name I never did get) took his seat next to his mother in-law, Millie, who was next to me.

 

As I sat down and went over the events in my mind I was horrified.  What had caused me to have such a reaction to the elderly?  As I thought about this, it occurred to me that I was not alone.  It seemed many people in this country have the same instincts.  Horror and fear about the loss of our physical stature, the approach of old age and the need for help from others.  It is not something we simply fear either, it is more.  It is with shame and disgust that many view the elderly.  Why?  It is not as if no one has family or friends who have gotten older?  We all know people like this.  So why do so many of us have this instinctual reaction?

 

Back in 2001, I watched my grandmother pass.  It happened quickly.  She was well one day and then she fell.  She was not found for hours.  She was brought to the hospital were it seemed she was recovering.  She was then sent to a rehabilitation home of some kind, maybe it was a nursing home.  She got worse and was sent back to the hospital.  This happened four or five times before she finally passed.  It occurred over 2-3 months.  My mom was convinced that the home she was sent to killed her.  She was neglected and not cared for properly.  Of course the home was understaffed and the workers completely overworked.  These homes are not set up for success, the are set up as waiting chambers for death.

 

And this is how the elderly are treated in the United States.  The elderly are not seen as productive workers, they cannot contribute to capitalism's profits anymore and so their usefulness is gone.  They simply occupy space and are a drain on capitalist resources.  I remember one of my friends whose mother and father were in a nursing home back in England.  He said it is a bit scary to see the difference in care.  Makes one reconsider if staying here into your old age is really the best option.

 

Our system first says in order to get subsidized help, we must drain all your assets.  We will take your home and anything of value and liquidate it.  Once you have nothing, then the state will step in and help with the bills.  Capitalism treats the elderly here with as much reverence as it has for dirt.  But not the rich.  No, if you have money in your old age, well, it is a different story.  You can stay in your home, you can keep all your belongings and you can hire someone to care for you in your house.  You can afford doctors and medical care and avoid the over crowded and over worked homes where the working class goes once they reach old age.  Is it any wonder our instincts are honed to look down on the old?  Our whole system does.

 

As my plane ride passed, I gradually struck up conversation with Millie.  She loves to do crossword puzzles and until her husband became ill, she used to love to go to Florida to avoid the cold weather back in Chicago.  Now they have to have someone in the family go with them to help.  She told me about her children and how one of her daughters is married to a retired Miami Dolphin football player.  He used to play with Griese, one of the best quarterbacks to ever grace the Miami Dolphins.  Well before Marino entered the scene.  She went on to talk about the Bears and how they blew it the other day against the Packers.  "That quarterback of ours, he is either on or off, there is no middle ground with him."  I laughed, she was right.  There is no middle ground.

 

As the plane landed, they let me slide out first as Arthur would need some help.  As I waited in the aisle I stood by Arthur, who was still seated, but trying to get up to let the young lady pass who sat next to him in the window seat.  I could not help but smell that Arthur had relieved himself during the flight.  I was so angry.  This man felt such shame, I could just imagine that for him, it may have been easier to do that then to have to ask his son in-law for help.  It took a long time to get Arthur up and down.  And then I noticed the young lady's face who sat next to him.  It seemed to mirror what I first felt when I got on the plane.

 

Allyson